why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
