that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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