i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
