I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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