dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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