i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize