At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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