So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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