I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
