He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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