I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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