The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
