he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
