You can't motorboat a personality
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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