She tied me up with her honor cords...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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