all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
