..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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