bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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