Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
