we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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