Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
