Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
