there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize
