Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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