I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize