just tell him i said nine months
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
