before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
