I hope mine doesn't look like that
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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