can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Never joke about your clitoris.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
