xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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