Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Someone signed my nipple.
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