we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I will pee on everything he values.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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