we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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