We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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