We're facebook friends in real life
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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