Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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