is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
