I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
