I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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