i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
