New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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