Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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