just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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