listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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