I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
