You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
