Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
