All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
