I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
So. Much. Porn.
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