This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
