I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
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