I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
