Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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