Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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