no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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