I molested 6 butterflies tonight
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
