I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
