It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
