Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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