Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize