I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
