Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Watching her eat just hurts me
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
