I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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