I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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