I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
