im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize